Shadows
by Dark Ice Dragon
Summary: Kentas notices the shadows under M-21's eyes.


**Summary**: Kentas notices the shadows under M-21's eyes.

Kentas/M-21? Kentas being Kentas.

Not Adapt-verse.

Set after season 8.

* * *

**Shadows  
**

By Dark Ice Dragon

* * *

There were dark shadows under M-21's eyes. They had been when he and Kentas had escaped from that noble scientist, but they seemed to only be getting darker and more noticeable with each passing day.

"Hey," Kentas greeted as they passed each other in the corridor.

He barely got a grunt in return, M-21's shoulders hunched as M-21 walked past. Though...he was close to dragging his feet, and the way M-21 gripped the banister while going down the stairs, it seemed like M-21 didn't trust his legs going down them.

"Are you all right?" Kentas asked, trailing after him, in case he misplaced a foot.

"I'm _fine_," M-21 said, each step firmly planted in the centre of the stair.

"Okay..." Kentas said, watching him. M-21 didn't fall and Kentas was sure he'd be met with M-21's scowling face if he continued following.

The others would have a better idea what was wrong. 

[-]

"Yooo, Kentas!" Tao said with a wave, dark liquid swirling in his mug. "What brings you here?"

'Here' was Tao's security room that was in one of Frankenstein's lab rooms. The room was awash with green from the monitors on the wall, tinting Tao's white patch.

"You said you would normally be here if you weren't in the living room," Kentas said, looking around. The room made his skin prickle, but not from danger. There was something in the air, like the collected energy before a thunderstorm broke.

"Mmmhmm?" Tao set the mug down and span his chair around, resting his fingertips against each other. "I don't think you're here just for my charming personality," Tao said, grinning at him and winking. "So what's up?"

Hn... "Is M-21 recovering all right?" Kentas had seen M-21's recovery rate - he healed almost as fast as a werewolf warrior. It had been a few days since they'd been rescued, so M-21 should be back to normal.

"He shooould be," Tao said, "but I've been here most of the time since you've come back, trying to increase security." Tao leaned back, his gaze drifting towards the ceiling. "He usually withdraws after a fight, because he's..." Tao winced. "Damn."

"Because what?" Had he missed something really obvious?

"Mmm," Tao said, before sighing in a big gust. "M doesn't really have high self-esteem - he's doing better!" Tao quickly added. "A whooole lot better than before, but after a fight he usually beats himself up abou-"

"He's _hurting_ himself?" Kentas interrupted, eyes wide. How had he missed that? He should have been able to smell the blood!

Tao squinted at him. "Yeees, but I don't think we're talkin' about in the same way."

"You hurt yourself in different ways?" That didn't make sense. There were different ways to fight, but they all ended with blood spilled one way or another.

Tao waved a hand. "I guess... Hm." Tao covered his mouth with a fist. "You're more used to just the physical side of fighting, huh."

"Of course." He was a warrior, after all. Though from the little he'd seen of how M-21 fought, M-21 had used his words in a way Kentas had never seen, the words hitting harder than a punch with ease. Kentas wasn't sure if he would be able to do the same, to think so quickly with a retort...

Wait.

If M-21 turned that wit against himself, when he knew his own weaknesses and _exactly_ what hurt...

"Why..." Kentas started. "Why would he do that?" It didn't make sense. He'd survived another fight that could have killed him. That was something to be proud of.

Tao scrunched his face up, before exhaling again. "The short version is he doesn't think he's strong enough, so blames himself whenever something goes wrong."

Kentas stared at him. That couldn't be right. M-21 was the one who had gotten them out of the laboratory, when Kentas had been the one who had broken down. M-21 had taken on werewolves far stronger than him and lived with only a few injuries. "Why wouldn't he think he's strong enough?"

Tao let out a low chuckle at his question, shaking his head. "That's part of the long version. But yeah, that might be what he's doing."

"Hnng." Kentas huffed, crossing his arms. "How do we stop it?"

Tao beamed at him. "Man, it's going to be great with you here." His smile faded. "But talking to him about it doesn't really work - he'll either blame him harder, or he gets snappy." Tao paused. "Or both, really. He's stubborn like that."

Aah... Kentas definitely knew he was stubborn. He furrowed his brow. "So what _can_ we do?"

"It's a balance," Tao said, "between giving him space so he doesn't feel suffocated, an' distracting him so he doesn't start stewing on what he coulda done better."

Kentas nodded. M-21 hadn't wanted to talk earlier on, but now he had a better idea what to do. 

[-]

Kentas peered at the sizzling food in the pan. It seemed like it was almost done. He'd learned how to use the cooker, but he was still getting used to using pans instead of a skewer.

He turned his head when he heard the living room door open.

It was M-21, the shadows still under his eyes, his shoulders still hunched.

"Hey," Kentas said, "you hungry?" He'd thought about sparring with M-21, to prove M-21 was strong, but that was a bad idea if it might reinforce M-21's current feelings. It still didn't make sense to him - he'd _seen_ M-21 and M-21 had to know how strong he was.

"Why," M-21 said, lip curling. "Because I can't even-" He cut himself off with a hiss, his lips into a thin line.

"What's wrong?" Kentas asked when M-21 didn't say anything else after that.

"Nothing," M-21 said, his jaw clenched. "Nothing's wrong."

"You're a bad liar," Kentas noted, turning the cooker off. "Food?" he asked again, searching for the plates.

M-21 was quiet until Kentas found the stack of plates. "Why are you offering?"

"Because I have some?" Food was meant to be shared. And the food might help to distract M-21 from his thoughts.

"...Fine."

Kentas smiled at him, grabbing another plate. 

[-]

"So what was it?" M-21 said, putting his chopsticks down on his empty plate.

"What was what?" Kentas said, getting another helping.

"The meat. What was it?"

Kentas blinked. "Beef? Did it taste different to you?"

M-21 stared at him. "It wasn't moose or boar or deer? Just cow?"

"Yeah." Kentas squinted at the meat in front of him and ate it. Definitely cow.

"I thought you hunted everything?" M-21 said, sipping his drink.

"It was in the fridge," Kentas said with a shrug. Eating after a hunt was revitalising, but the meat was already there and he didn't want it to go to waste.

"Hn." M-21 sighed and leaned back in his chair. "...Thanks. For the food."

Kentas smiled.

M-21's eyes drifted closed, his breathing deepening.

Kentas tilted his head, listening. M-21 had fallen asleep.

He gathered up the plates, but before he reached the sink, M-21 jerked awake with a gasp.

"Shhi-!" M-21 panted, his head jerking left and right, trying to look at everything in the room.

"Hey, it's all right," Kentas said, setting the plates on the counter and going back to him. "You're home." But it was strange - that was far too fast for a nightmare.

"Yeah," M-21 said, rubbing at his temples, his eyes squeezed shut. "I... Fuck."

"What's wrong?" Kentas asked. Was it something he should tell Frankenstein?

"Nothing," M-21 muttered. "I'm being fucking weak for thinking this but there's still the chance this is all fake and just in my head and I can't even know-" M-21's words were tumbling together, Kentas almost not able to follow what he was saying.

"What's fake?" He'd caught that much.

"This!" M-21's hand swept the air, indicating the room. "This might be some dream and I'm still in that _fucking_ scientist's lab and if I go to sleep, I'm going to wake up there again. I don't-" M-21's breathing was uneven, starting to gasp. "I don't want to be there again, trapped at someone's mercy again, not able to-"

"Hey," Kentas said, holding M-21's hand and squeezing it. "Can you feel this?"

M-21 stared at Kentas' hand, his fingers flexing. "...Yeah. You're warm." He reached over with his other hand, fingertips tracing Kentas' skin.

"Can you feel things in your dreams?" Kentas didn't, and he hoped it was the same for humans.

"...No. It seems like it...but not temperature." M-21 kept staring at Kentas' hand, squeezing back.

"Would you dream about me being here?" Staying in a place with humans and nobles wasn't something Kentas thought he would ever do, but here he was. That was surreal to him, and he sometimes wasn't sure if everything had actually happened, but he kept waking up in the house, so it had to be real.

"No," M-21 said.

"Hn..." Kentas exhaled. "If contact helps, then we can sleep next to each other."

M-21 jerked to stare at him, his eyes wide. "What?"

"It'll help you sleep if you know there's someone there, and you'll be able to double-check again when you wake up." How else could he reassure M-21 that this was real?

M-21 kept staring at him, before breathing a weak laugh. "That's a suggestion I would expect from Tao."

Kentas tilted his head, furrowing his brow. "But it should work?" It was a good idea.

"If you want to," M-21 said, eyeing him.

He nodded. "Yeah."

"...Okay." 

[-]

"We don't have to do it _now_," M-21 said, his hands jammed into his pockets.

"You're dozing off," Kentas said, gaze drifting around M-21's room. It was similar to the one Kentas had been given, with a few more pictures dotted around the room.

"Can stay awake f'r a little longer," M-21 muttered.

"You're still a bad liar."

M-21 glowered at him before sighing, pushing his hair away from his face. "Maybe...I can be back to a good liar once I've slept."

"You can show me then," Kentas said with a chuckle.

"Hn."

M-21 curled up under the blanket and Kentas joined him.

M-21 stared at Kentas' chest before huffing. "So how do we do this? Just hands? What?"

"Will that be enough? If we move, we'll let go." Kentas didn't move much when he slept, but he didn't know about M-21.

"...Hm." M-21 closed his eyes for a second before opening them again. "Turn around."

"Huh?" Kentas did as he asked, and M-21 slipped an arm around his waist.

"I used to..." M-21 trailed off. "Never mind."

Kentas patted his hand before holding it. He could ask once M-21 had rested.

M-21 leaned his forehead on Kentas' back and was instantly asleep.

Kentas listened, but M-21 didn't jerk awake again, though M-21's arm tightened against him for a second.

Good. Kentas wasn't tired, but he could nap for an hour or so. 

[-]

Kentas could hear M-21 slowly waking up, his breathing going shallower.

M-21 gripped Kentas' top and let go. "What...?"

"Hey," Kentas said, wrapping his hand around M-21's. "You're still here."

M-21 exhaled. "Yeah. ...Shit."

"Hn?" Kentas rolled over to look at him. The shadows under M-21's eyes had faded, and he looked less pale than he had a couple hours before.

"Nothing," M-21 said, rubbing at his eyes. "I thought you were someone else."

Someone who wasn't around anymore? "Feeling better?" M-21 didn't seem like he wanted to talk about it.

"Yeah. Thanks." M-21 sighed, sitting up. "I should be fine tonight so you don't have to do this again."

Kentas studied him. "But if I want to...?"

M-21 stilled, and then looked at him. "Why would you?"

"To make sure you're rested," Kentas said, sitting up. "One night isn't enough."

M-21's gaze drifted away and he nodded. "Until I'm rested then."

Kentas smiled.

* * *

Inspired by the givethispromptatry prompt, '"I'm afraid that one day I'll wake up back in that place. I'm afraid that I'll wake up and realize that this was all just a fantasy, that I wasn't rescued."  
"That's why you won't sleep?"  
"Yes."  
"Then let me sleep next to you."'

Fic was supposed to be about M-21 not going to sleep, but the set-up was about something else. XDD;;


End file.
